i'm no longer crying for you

Why do I care? I care because I knew you for two weeks and I feel like I've known you for two years. I care because you're the only one I can talk to without feeling judged, or misplaced. Or labeled or whatever, I care because when I look at you, I feel happy. Not the kind of happy that lasts a couple hours. The kind of happy that I know will be guaranteed for, well as long as I'm with you. I care because I know you care about me. Well actually I don't know because you're so hard to read. But for once it's great I know that everything will be okay. But uhh that's only if I know for sure that you care. If not then fuck everything, you know?

They say we haven't been through half as much as they have. Sure, they watched in horror as they heard the news of Kennedy being shot, and went through the Vietnam War. They went through Raids, the Kent State mystery, but we've been through Columbine and saw the Twin Towers fall. We've been through Virginia Tech, and have had to fight alcoholism, and battle eating disorders. We fight a different kind of war; one with ourselves and never being good enough. We've seen bulimia and anorexia. They say we haven't been through much, but we've been through just as much, and maybe more.

Life is unfair. You put someone first who puts you second. You study your ass off for a final only to get a B in the class when you deserved an A. You give 110% to someone in a relationship when they only give 40%. You're there for your best friend at 3 a.m. when they need it the most, and the next day they don't pick up their phone. You give something your all and sometimes get little to nothing back. You care so much about someone who doesn't care enough about you to say hi once in awhile. You give someone your time, and they give you "Sorry, I'm busy". It seems like you're giving everyone everything, and they're just walking away with it.

"You should never give yourself a chance to fall apart, because when you do, it becomes a tendency and it happens over and over again. You must practice being strong instead."
-Eat.Pray.Love

I thought I knew you. But I guess it's easier to see what we want than to look for the truth.You think you know me but you don't. And that means you don't know what I can do.

Things have changed so much.
They've gotten to the point where
I really don't know you anymore.

You want to know what it's like to be in love with you?
It's like taking me to the top of the highest mountain,
showing me the entire world and telling me 'this is everything you can't have.'

Friends are people that touch your heart. You could spend hours with them doing nothing at all and it can be the best time of your life, just because it was with them. They’re the people you can share your secrets with, cry with, laugh with, and just have fun with. They don’t judge you or make you change. They accept you exactly as you are. You all share something in common and are tied together by memories, tears, laughs and smiles. Friendship is the strangest but greatest thing in the world. I find my time with my friends the best times of my life.

I'm a teenage girl: I have my good days and my bad days, & sometimes I take it out on others. When my iPod is blasting, the rest of the world gets tuned out. There's a boy that I can't seem to stop thinking about. [he's the reason I look forward to school everyday] I can't go a day without saying or doing something silly. I truly don't know what I'd do without my friends- [they know how to make me happy and are always there for me] I can be stubborn, bitchy, and a little clueless at times, & sometimes, in one day, dozens of things go wrong.

Your biggest challenge isn't someone else.It's the ache in your lungs, the burning in your legs, and the voice inside you that yells "can't". But you don’t listen.You push harder, you hear the voice that whispers "can". And you discover that the person you thought you  were is no match for the one you really are.

He makes me happy. The kind of happiness that only comes from love. The kind that gives you that tickling sensation in your stomach, and shivers up your spine.

Sure, she's pretty, but it's about more than that. You two connect. Anything you throw at her, she can throw right back. You figured out what's going on in that predictable head of hers in under five minutes, but something tells you that her heart would take about five years.

the other day i woke up smiling. not because you were next to me, or because the smell of your hoodie made me melt, but because when we were young, you promised me one thing: you'd never leave me, and you didn't.

never there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you

If he really loves you, it won't matter if you're wearing sweats from Wal-Mart, or jeans from Abercrombie, he'll be happy just being with you.

I only want to go back to the days where "Daddy" could solve everything, it didn't matter whether you were a boy or girl while playing catch with friends. Curfew was at eight so you wouldn't be late for your bath, and the only heartbreak you had is when your puppy ran away. I only want to be a kid again.

What's teenage love? It's staying up late for each other and barely staying awake in class the next day. It's passing each other between classes and stopping to say Hi, but ending up running to your next class right before the bell rings. It's going to the mall, wandering around hand in hand, with a silence that's comfortable. It's watching a movie in the theaters with his arm slowly creeping onto your shoulders, and you resting your head in his arms. It's walking around at night, for no reason at all; his chest, her head, looking at the stars. It's uncertainty of how long it will last, a risk you're both willing to take, even if it means you'll have a broken heart. It's not yet true love, not like, nor lust, nor infatuation. It's teenage love, here to stay, here to play with our hearts and never to go away.

you're the type of person people could write a million songs about.

you take one look at someone, and judge them. its a natural instinct; you automatically think positive or negative thoughts about someone depending on how attractive they are. before you judge think about what they have to offer. they could have a beautiful story to share, they could change your life & be the best thing that has ever happened to you. so stop with the negative thoughts, dont be stuck up & picture everyone as beautiful. life is so much better that way.

Someone will always catch you when you fall, and it won't be who you thought it would be. The people that love you most might watch you fall, wait, and congratulate you when you find your own way back up. This doesn't mean they love you less. They just know you're stronger than you give yourself credit for.

Hey, listen. I'm comfortable around you, and these flirt sessions we have pretty much rock, but you have to win my heart, because right now it's stuck with some jerk who honestly doesn't deserve it. But I can't do anything about it right now because I fell harder for him than I did for anybody else, and unless he randomly disappears off the face of the earth one day, my stomach is still gonna drop to my feet when I see him. So, please, win my heart over.

In high school, everything's different than in grade school. Everyone sort of understands each other, & people get along. some relationships last, & mean something. others are just for the fun of it, or hurt you, but it's worth what you learned in the end. Hookups are just for the pleasure, & you learn something as well. crushes don't mean being scarred to tell someone you like them. Friends become closer, more serious. you learn who you can trust. Memories last a life time, & stay forever with you. It's just a point of growing up.

This is like a game to you, one day you love me & then the next day you arent around. Put the dice down and think. Would you rather take two steps forward or take a step back? If you go back, you have to stay there. Go forward? Then you loose. Im gone..forever & i truely mean it this time.

'm not a little girl anymore. For anyone whose ever betrayed me, intentionally hurt me or two-timed me, I'm not going to dwell on trying to make your life miserable and tell you I'm going to fight you. No, better yet, I'm going to sit here and tell you karma is a motherfucker and you'll get yours

Darling, I want you to be happy. I want you to look in the mirror and see the gorgeous smile the way I see it. It lights up my life, and puts a smile on my face, so darling, please smile.

The worst thing about going back to school? No, it's not the getting up early, or the homework. Not mean teachers or crowded hallways. It's seeing the boy it took you all summer to get over, and falling for him all over again

so do your heart a favor, turn around and leave. it may not be what you wanted but baby girl, it's what you need

Stop right there; don't say another word. I truly don't want to hear what you have to say. We're through. You fucked it up. Everything was perfect, until you decided it wasn't.

come on, I dare you. Try to lie to me with a straight face. Try to scare my heart out of this place. I bet you can't do it. I bet you're too scared. You're too scared I'll cry, but you know what? I'm not going to, because this is goodbye. I'm tough, ambitious & I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, then okay.

You're not cute, or exceptionally hot. Your eyes aren't anything special, & your smile isn't anything that stands out in a crowd. So, people ask me why I fell for you. I couldn't answer, because there's no way to describe what you mean to me, or how you said the sweetest things late at night. I couldn't formulate into words because no one would understand.

You know, people are always asking, "Are you okay?" But they're never really expecting the truth... Cause the reality of the matter is, if I was okay, you wouldn't really have to wonder.

You thought I couldn't do this without you, but guess what... I sleep great at night now. I don't hurt because you're not here. I just had to learn to accept it & move on, & I did. But you, you're the one who keeps crawling back. So next time you think, "Oh hey, she's happy. Gotta mess that up," it's not going to happen, because this time, you're not going to get what you want. This time I'm going to get what I want, & what I want, is not you.

Come lay in bed with me. I just need you tonight. I need you to hold me, talk to me. Nothing major. Today's just been one of those days where I need you to make me feel loved.

do you ever wish you could hear the sirens of the ambulance, wake up in the emergency room, and hear the doctor say, "she isn't going to make it", just so you could find out who really cares about you?

But mostly, I cried because my 
life  had been going full speed for so 
long & now it had just stopped, like 
running right into a big brick wall, 
knocking the wind & the fight right
out of me. & I didn't know if I ever even 
wanted to get up & start breathing again. We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.

after everything we went through, i cant be friends with you. you're a lot stronger than me, you will move on so much faster. so no, i will not be your friend. if i become your friend, i will never get over you. i think im going to have to say goodbye, maybe not forever but at least for a while until i find someone else to take your place..

You`ve got someone here. Someone who wants to make it alright, someone who loves you more than life, someone right here.

I wish you knew how much this hurts. How every second of every day I'm holding my stomach & fighting back tears. Just for one day, I wish you could feel how I felt and maybe you'd change your mind.

the hardest part to deal with, more than schoolwork, school, life and friends, more than, as she put it ‘alternating between not caring and caring and regretting not caring when i care’ was that on top of everything - on top of driving themselves to be smart, pretty, thin and athletic - perhaps the most difficult pressure for high school students was that despite it all, they also have to push themselves to appear happy.

While I'm busy looking up at the balloon, I've realized that there's an ice cream melting on my hand. Makes sense? Don't look for something better when you already got the sweetest.

 i wish you were here.

I looked back on us today, and I honestly don’t know why I missed you, and why I wanted you back. Sure, at the beginning we were kids rushing into things we had no idea what about, but slowly, instead of trusting you more, I trusted you less, and the more I loved you, the less I loved myself. But now I’m free, and I’m not sorry. I had to get out. I knew it was over long before you said it. And I thought you broke my heart, but you merely made it stronger, made it resilient. Of course I’ll never forget you, but there’s no way I’m ever going back. So goodbye, my first love. Thank you for being such a fabulous waste of time.

If he honestly cared about you one bit he wouldn’t have left. Not the first time, not the second time, not ever

I don't know what I want to do with my life, I just know i want to do it. I want to see my world. I want to meet every single person breathing on this earth. I want to give everyone a hug or a handshake and I want to make someone's life a little easier. I want to be different than the people I know because that's what makes us beautiful. I want to be absolutely ridiculous before I die. I don't want regrets. I want to stand for something

don't give up, okay? I know you've been hurt, I know how it feels. believe me, I do. but the feeling will pass, the tears will stop falling, your heart will heal itself. I promise you it will, so hold on and don't let go. don't lose hope because I promise you'll find someone who will treat you right the way, the way he never did. someone who will never ever leave you the way he did. he'll be worth the wait, so hang in there because I love you and I want you to be happy.

You kiss a hell of a lot better than you listen. Maybe that's why I can't get enough of you. It's true when they say old habits are hard to break, but you'll always remain nothing but my most tempting mistake.

I've decided I need to be more spontaneous - stop thinking about things so much and just do them, or else nothing that I want is ever gonna happen. Like today, there were so many things I wanted to do - that I should have done - but I waited too long and missed my chance. So tomorrow I'm gonna try much harder to just do the things that I want - not think about it, so hopefully it will be better.

I want to be hard for you to forget, I want to have the kind of impact on you where you know you'll never find anyone who can take my place, because that's what you are to me. I want it to hurt like hell when you see me. I want you to feel what you put me through.

Promise yourself to be strong, that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Look at the sunny side of eveything & make your optimism come true. Think only the best, work only for the best, & expect only the best. Forget the mistakes of the past & press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side as long as you are true to the best that`s in you.

At some point, you`ve got to man up & jump. You`ve got to quit being scared of the "maybes" & "what-ifs" & just freaking jump. Quit cheating yourself out of the best thing that could ever happen to you, quit cheating him out of what he`s wanted for so long, & just fall. Fall hard, fall long, & fall forever.

It’s got to the point when hanging out seems to be a chore, when talking involves too much effort, when the butterflies are gone, and when we kiss it only feels like your lips on mine.

I’ve discovered a new medicine. Its quotes, I read them and soak them in. They help numb the pain of feeling, and they release all the emotions that I myself can’t put words to. In fact this medication has become my new addiction.

so now we're at the part of the movie where i showed up on your doorstep in the dark & pouring rain & i poured my heart out to you. the part where you took it all in & chose her. so now i'm driving; driving to the airport. so i can move 2000 miles away and get on with my life. so you'll go back to your couch & keep watching the movie with the other girl. & you'll see that certain scene or she'll say those magic words,the ones that remind you of everything you once saw in what we could be. & you'll realize your mistake,jump up & leave her. you'll get in your car & speed all the way to the airport. for awhile you won't be able to find me,but then at the last possible second right before my plane leaves you'll run in, wipe the tears from my eyes & we'll finally have that storybook ending that i spend my nights dreaming about. i just hope you make it in time.

It`s those moments when you drive around in a car full of friends around a town too small for you. Where you gasp for beath between each laugh. It`s about those moments where you get high off of just breathing in so deep, you feel your lungs getting cold. For a second, that split second, you don`t care. You don`t care about school, about parents, about money, about rules, or broken hearts. Who you care about are the kids sitting next to you. Cause it`s all we really need, isn`t it? Those kids next to you. The ones who make you feel invincible, even at your weakest points.

You pulled me back into your arms, hugged me for longer and told me you didn't want me to go; I live for these moments

It's funny how the less you talk, the more you begin to realize it was not meant to be. It's funny how slow it began, and how fast it ended. It's funny how in the beginning he liked you, but in the end he like someone else. It's funny how he meant everything to you, but you meant nothing to him.

Sweetheart, you can't bullshit me. See I've lied to myself enough to know when someone else is doing it. So let's try this again, and how about the truth this time?